i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
