trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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