girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
