then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
