does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
