Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
