Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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