I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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