im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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