Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize