if i can run in heels then i can drive
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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