Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
