"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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