you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
