In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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