Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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