Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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