Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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