Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
