I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
time to smoke my breakfast
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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