is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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