Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
