Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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