I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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