Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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