So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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