Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
