i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
