I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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