This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
too bad you live with your parents still
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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