Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize