the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
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I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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