I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
