When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Duck Duck Cougar?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
