Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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