can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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