just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He felt like a one man threesome
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i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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