I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
