Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
