you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
