So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
