sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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