someone get that fucking seahorse.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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