CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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