Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
