We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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