In the future we'll all be gay
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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