i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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