So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How's work?
Spinning.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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