I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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