You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
