better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
