I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just had sex on a roof
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
