when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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