Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
