My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
