4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
