remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize