so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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