Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize