He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just forgot I was standing up.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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