I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
