It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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