I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
