worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
