Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
