meet me or not, i'm out of control
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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