Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
