On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you traded sex for a burrito?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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